April 8, 2024
In a tragic turn of events, 35 individuals from Shelburne, Ontario, have been left permanently blind after staring directly into a solar eclipse, misled by the belief that it was a divine intervention to shield them from the virus.The incident unfolded during the recent solar eclipse, which captivated many regions. However, for these individuals, the allure of the celestial phenomenon took a dangerous turn when they gazed directly at the sun without adequate protection.According to eyewitnesses, the victims, driven by a misguided conviction, believed that the eclipse held supernatural powers bestowed upon them by a higher power to ward off ...
March 1, 2024
In the picturesque town of Dundalk Raw, an unexpected stir has emerged as local resident Marleena, recognized for her vibrant spirit, found herself under house arrest for 30 days. The eccentric artist's daring attempt to break free from the ordinary led to her arrest on charges of indecent exposure.Marleena's avant-garde performance art installation, meant to push the boundaries of societal norms, resulted in a clash with local authorities. Rather than a conventional jail sentence, town officials opted for an unconventional approach, placing Marleena under house arrest to serve her 30-day term.Undeterred by confinement, Marleena transformed her home into a mesmerizing ...
By Dane Gerzone - November 4, 2023
Admit the Need: Acknowledge the desire to understand and appreciate the humour in various forms, including memes.Learn the Basics: Familiarize yourself with popular memes, their origins, and the underlying humour.Observe and Analyze: Spend time observing different meme formats, dissecting their elements and understanding why they're funny.Engage with Community: Join online forums or social media groups dedicated to memes, interacting and sharing humour with others.Experiment and Create: Start making your own memes. Experiment with different formats and styles to find your niche.Embrace Versatility: Explore a wide range of meme categories, from wholesome to surreal, and discover what resonates with you.Timing and Context: Understand the importance of timing and ...
By Dane Gerzone - July 4, 2023
Shelburne, Ontario - In a shocking incident that has left the community of Shelburne in disbelief, a resident has been apprehended for allegedly engaging in an unthinkable relationship with a goat. The controversial case has sent shockwaves through the small town and has become the subject of discussion among residents.According to sources, the accused, a 42-year-old man whose identity remains undisclosed for legal reasons, had formed an extraordinary bond with a goat residing on his property. What began as a peculiar fascination gradually took an alarming turn as the man reportedly developed a deluded belief that they could bear offspring ...
May 31, 2023
Date: May 31, 2023ONTARIO, CANADA - The cost of renting a home in Ontario has reached unprecedented heights, leaving tenants grappling with the overwhelming burden of exorbitant prices. A recent study conducted by housing experts reveals a sharp increase in rental costs, painting a grim picture of affordability and raising concerns about the accessibility of housing for many Ontarians.According to the study, the average monthly rent for a one-bedroom apartment in major cities such as Toronto, Ottawa, and Hamilton has surged by an alarming 20% over the past year alone. This surge is attributed to various factors, including increased demand, ...
  A post wrote by The Olde Town Hall teamToday we had a great time representing Team Town Hall at the Dundalk Raw Family Potluck. Everyone present seemed to have a fantastic time, the food was amazing, but what really made an impact was the generousity of so many local community members who came out to support our town hall. We didn't get a head count but we know there were 25 businesses who supported the effort, what looked to be about 100 people present, and $1005 dollars raised to kickoff the start of our Team Town Hall project fund. Thank ...
By Dane Gerzone - May 29, 2023
Party went exactly as we wanted! Stayed under 100 people, everyone treated the private property we were on with the utmost respect. Thank you to Crystal Garan, Harlee Dimascio & Jessica Miller to put this together, as I've been to busy and it wouldn't have turned out as nice.Thanks to Ben Shell & @bj for doing an awsome job lighting off the fireworks, couldn't of gone any better. The chaos of one falling over really made the show exciting! Thank you to Jason Shouldice for making sure all our wood made it out.Thank you to our 50/50 winner Keilagh Heeley for donating ...
By Dane Gerzone - May 29, 2023
We are looking for a few individuals that would like to be journalists for The Raw News.  Journalists will have free range on what they would like to write about, it can be real news and events to keep us updated on things going on in Ontario, or it could be all your imagination made up for entertainment purposes. If this sounds like something you would be interested in, please register below, and we will reach out to you. 

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